Stuck III

Feeling better. Not optimistic, but better.

I think probably on Tuesday or Wednesday I'll go in to an HRDC office and see if I can talk to a career counsellor. That's how Michael got his last job. Maybe they'll be able to help.

Dave e-mailed me today to just offer support. That was nice. To have someone just say, "Hey, that sucks, I hope you find something soon, and I hope you can keep working in your field, too."

Instead of like Denise: "That sucks. I'll help you get a new job. You should quit working with your kids - I know you like it and all, but it's not very reliable."

Or Dabby: "You're like a butterfly. You flit from here to there. You need to settle down. You're very good at some things but there are things you definitely need to work on."

Or Mom: "You could register with a temp agency for the mornings/move to Lacombe/whatever."

1. I don't want to quit working with my kids. It's not just something I like to do, it's what I feel called to do. I guess people who haven't had that feeling don't understand it - but it's as important to me that I do this work as it is for Jonathan to be a priest. People can't understand that with non-ministry-related careers, I guess.

2. I have ADD. I will be butterfly-like because I have a lot of interests and variety stimulates me so that I can actually focus on my work. I may be 28, but given the uneven development of individuals with ADD or ASD, it's not surprising that I'm still very flighty (or finally somewhat flighty).

3. I don't want to temp ever again unless absolutely necessary. I hope that the career counsellor will be able to help me decide about that.

I'm also going to see if I can maybe get some financial planning/management assistance from http://www.mcca-ed.org/index.html - MCC Employment Development. You never know.

And, in the meantime, I'll keep looking for work and I'll get this house cleaner than clean because I'm actually good at housework once I get started.

I don't want to see Denise on Tuesday. I don't want her to tell me that crap anymore. I need to stand up for myself. I need courage.

This is too hard.