Hermit V

This afternoon, as I drove out to JH's for my shift, I wrote a bunch of bits & pieces. They're over in my LJ.

Here are the two that are actually good:

Without You, I am nothing -
words without meaning,
art without movement,
sound without purpose.

Christ beside me,
Father guide me,
Spirit hide me.

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This one I wrote on the way home after the session. Desperation - the word and the concept and the feeling - has captured me, with the imagery the word conveys...

Desperate fear released its hold;
Desperate longing fills my soul.
Desperate violence no longer mine,
Desperate peace is what I find.
Desperate sorrow for all I missed;
Desperate joy, held within this
Desperate Love.

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I was not as productive today as I had hoped I would be, but there is yet time to do some work on my bedroom. I so want to have my special place ready and waiting for me in the morning tomorrow.

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I have work to do tonight yet - work for my kidlets. I will finish it up in the morning, but I want to get the main of it completed tonight. Info sheets and the beginnings of a program for CJ.

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I was hoping to go to Tehillah tonight, but even though I wound up not having to work after all, I did need to eat dinner. Next week will be different. And Steve is speaking next week, as he was tonight, so I really want to go. He is such a great speaker, a great teacher...

I am hoping that next week's Tehillah will see me already beginning to be grounded in this hermiting that I am beginning to try.

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I am working on a new Celtic knotwork design. I need to get some cellophane, in red, orange, and yellow, to finish it. This one isn't anything like any of the ancient work, but it has meaning and is definitely a very personal piece. I don't know when or where I will get the cellophane, but I will do it.

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On Beth's Blog today:

What IS deep faith? Faith that goes to the core of who I am. Faith unshakeable. Faith that goes beyond the surface. Belief that is all-encompassing. The ability to take huge risks because of groundedness in God. A deep knowledge of who He is and who I am in Him. An identification with Christ.

And I pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts as you trust in him. May your roots go down deep into the soil of God's marvelous love. Ephesians 3:17 NLT

You're deeply rooted in him. You're well constructed upon him. You know your way around the faith. Now do what you've been taught. School's out; quit studying the subject and start living it! And let your living spill over into thanksgiving. Col. 2:7 MSG

Being rooted and established in love... The days are extreme. Am I rooted in Him as I should be? Where is my foundation? My peace? My refuge in the storm? My launching point? In His arms. My deep faith lies in my God, Jesus Christ. My rootedness lies in believing in what He did for me on the Cross; living today hand in hand with Him; and knowing my future lies in His eternal arms. May my faith deepen today as I seek more of Him...

Real. Present. Extreme. Deep. Faith.

She is so eloquent, this young woman I call "best friend"...

TobyMac (of DCTalk fame) has a song on his first solo album called "Extreme Days":

We're livin' in extreme days
Comin' at ya like a whirlwind/A hundred miles an hour's where it will begin/I spy the eye of apprehension/Show me risk and you'll get my attention
Come on, can ya take it/Bang to the bip I make ya wanna flip/Take my trip and you can bust your lip
I never fear 'cause I live fearless/Don't even think for a second you can get with this
Come on, I never fake it, come on/These are extreme, extreme days/We're livin' in extreme days/These are extreme, extreme days/We're livin' in extreme days
I'm a freak from the burbs of the chocolate city/Luther Jackson was my middle/Pine Ridge my elementary/School of hip hop 1979/And Sugar Hill had the skills that taught me to rhyme
Got hip to Kiss and I tripped on Zeppelin/So Mr. Therapist, "Why did I go this direction?"/God had a plan to end all my schemes/I had a dream He said to be ... extreme
[CHORUS]
Just the other day I saw a kid/Who flipped his hat to the back and he called it a lid/You know what else he did?/He stacked books from the floor to ceiling/Said somethin' about trying to get to heaven/He was only eleven/He climbed to the top with outstretched arms/And he screamed at the top of his lungs/These are extreme days
Move out my way/Give up the mic/"X" to me is extremely Christ/Livin up in me/Like it or not/Put an "X" on my chest/'Cause "X" marks the spot

Extreme days. Extreme faith. Deep faith. Deep Calling.

I have been called. I believe I have finally found the piece of that calling that I was missing. Hermiting will offer me the solid foundation, the rest, the strength, the hope, the depth and stillness and containment that I require in order to fulfill the rest of my calling - which is to minister to those affected by autism.

I think I have finally found that revelation I've been waiting for since May, when it was promised me at Tehillah.

Things are coming together, though they are not yet perfect.

I will continue to trust in my Lord and my God, for He alone has the power to resurrect the lifeless, restore the broken, and release the enslaved.