True Self

If I am true to myself - my true self - then I am following my vocation, and I am within God's will for my life. It is not possible for me to be truly happy in any other state. I must be my self, without any pretending.

I feel, at times, that I am still wearing masks. I have not told everyone of my diagnosis of ADD. I do not hide it, but I do not tell people about it, either. Is it wrong of me to keep this part of myself "hidden" like this? Or is it not important that I don't volunteer this information to random people? I don't go around telling people that I'm a Christian, either. Nor do I go around telling people that I write, or that I hear from God in the form of words and pictures.

God has made me to be many things, and I am still learning these roles and skills and tasks. I believe that, if I incorporate all of these things into my life, then I will be who I truly am, and I will grow into that which He has for me - and when I reach those things He has in store, I will be ready to embrace them, with gladness and acceptance, for I will know and understand so much more about myself and my identity as His child.

*****

I cannot tell why He Whom angels worship,
Should set His love upon the sons of men,
Or why, as Shepherd, He should seek the wanderers,
To bring them back, they know not how or when.
But this I know, that He was born of Mary
When Bethlehem’s manger was His only home,
And that He lived at Nazareth and labored,
And so the Savior, Savior of the world is come.

I cannot tell how silently He suffered,
As with His peace He graced this place of tears,
Or how His heart upon the cross was broken,
The crown of pain to three and thirty years.
But this I know, He heals the brokenhearted,
And stays our sin, and calms our lurking fear,
And lifts the burden from the heavy laden,
For yet the Savior, Savior of the world is here.

I cannot tell how He will win the nations,
How He will claim His earthly heritage,
How satisfy the needs and aspirations
Of East and West, of sinner and of sage.
But this I know, all flesh shall see His glory,
And He shall reap the harvest He has sown,
And some glad day His sun shall shine in splendor
When He the Savior, Savior of the world is known.

I cannot tell how all the lands shall worship,
When, at His bidding, every storm is stilled,
Or who can say how great the jubilation
When all the hearts of men with love are filled.
But this I know, the skies will thrill with rapture,
And myriad, myriad human voices sing,
And earth to heaven, and heaven to earth, will answer:
At last the Savior, Savior of the world is King!

(courtesy of http://www.breadsite.org/hymns/Icnotwhy.htm)

I love Him. I need Him. I have to find the words, the music to express that - original words, original music; that which truly is created at that moment of need, in the instant of necessity.

Who am I?

WHOSE am I?

I am my self, in the becoming.

And I am His, in all things possible.