Finding focus. Again with the focus... always with the focus.
It's so hard to focus, but I know it's possible - it's a think I know I can do!
Feeling scattered. I know it doesn't have to be like this, because I haven't always felt this way.
God, I like having emotions... not being stuck in extremes. I just... any positive feeling is like an automatic opening for the manic-style planning that carries me so far away from reality... and they are not plans I can ever fulfill, and I know it even as I make the plans, but I still make them.
I want to be practical, God. I long for that organized, practical FOCUS that is the most elusive thing in my life.
I know it's possible. I do. Not under my own power, but with the help of the right medication and with your assistance... I know I will achieve the impossible.
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