The Three 'R's

Connection. I wrote about this once before. It was brought to mind on Friday night, at a concert I attended with my brother.

Steve Bell is a Canadian Christian singer-songwriter. Near the end of his set, he said that he doesn't believe we were created beause God was lonely. "The Father has always had the Son, and the Son has always had the Father. And the Spirit has always been loving everything. It's just one big ooey-gooey mess." He continued by describing how God created everything in the world in relationship to everything else.

This is not a purely Christian concept. Orson Scott Card, one of my favourite SF writers, gets into this concept in his Homecoming series.

To anyone by Hushidh, the scene was simple - Rash and two of his soldiers blocking anyone from interfering, as the other four soldiers were dragging Kokor and Sevet through the wide front door of Rasa's house. Aunt Rasa herself was shouting ineffectually - "It's you who's injuring Sevet! You'll be expelled from the city! Kidnapper!" - and other women and girls of the house were gathering, huddling in the hallway, listening, watching.

To Hushidh the Raveler, however, the scene was very different. For she coud see not only the people, but also the webs that bound them together. To Hushidh, the frightened girls and women were not individuals or even little clumps - all of them were tightly bound to Rasa, so that instead of being helplessly alone as others would see her, Hushidh knew that she spoke from the strength of dozens of women, that their fear fed her fear, their anger her anger, and when she cried out in the majesty of her wrath, she was far larger than one mere woman. Hushidh even saw the powerful webs connecting Rasa to the rest of the city, great ropy threads like arteries and veins, pumping the lifeblood of Rasa's identity. When she cried out Rashgallivak, it was the fury of the whole city of women in her voice.

Yet Hushidh could also see that Rasa, though she was surrounded by this vast web, also felt herself to be quite alone, as if the web came right up to her but didn't quite connect, or touched her only slightly. That was what Rash's exercise of raw power was doing to Rasa - making her feel as if her strength and power in the city amounted to nothing after all, for she could not resist the power of these soldiers.

At the same time, there was another web of influence - Rashgallivak's. And this one Hushidh knew was actually contemptible and weak. Where Rasa's links with her household were strong and real, her power in the city almost tangible to Hushidh, Rashgallivak had very little respect from his soldiers. He was able to command them only because he paid them, and then only because they rather liked what he was commanding them to do. Rashgallivak, compared to Rasa, was almost isolated. As for his men, their connections to each other were much stronger than their connections to him. And even then, they were nothing like the bonds among the women.

pp. 99-100, Homecoming: Volume 2 -
The Call of Earth, Orson Scott Card

It is echoed in the Pagan concept of cords and doing cord-cuttings when relationships end.

I've already written about forming connections - the how and the why. I want to take a moment today to look at those connections we already have.

As is illustrated in Orson Scott Card's books, connections are not always formed intentionally. But they exist. We are connected to people with whom we come into contact just once.

I wonder what would happen if we took the time to recognise our relationships with other people? I'm not talking about intentionally forming connections, like I did in that other set of posts, but more I'm talking about recognising and respecting the connections that already exist.

1. Relationship. We exist in relationship.
   
   We are relationship-oriented beings. I disagree with those who say that we were created to love God. More, I believe we were created for and in relationship. Relationship with God, relationship with other people, relationship with nature.
   
   Everything in this world is inter-related. We do not (and cannot expect to) live in a vacuum. What we do & say affects other people.
   
   
2. Recognition. We need to recognise the relationships of which we are a part. Until we recognise our connection with God, we cannot exist in true relationship with him. Until we recognise our connections with other people, we cannot have meaningful interactions with them. Until we recognise our connection with nature (the rest of creation), we cannot be good stewards of all we have been given.
   
   
3. Respect. Without respect, connection and relationship cannot be possible.
   
   Respect doesn't mean agreeing with someone about everything, because if you actually disagree, then you are disrespecting yourself - and them, for you are lying to them. Rather, respect flows out of the understanding that other people have different backgrounds and opinions/understanding of certain subjects. With this understanding, we are able to allow for the possibility not only that we could be wrong, but that there may in fact be no such thing as right or wrong in some cases (or, at least, that we won't know the answer until Eternity).
   
   Respect doesn't offer opinion as fact, and it doesn't misrepresent ideas as feelings. Respect doesn't take disagreement as personal attack, and it doesn't make personal attacks.

I'm not sure what to conclude this essay with. Perhaps some simple encouragement to make use of the three 'R's in your daily life will suffice. Actively look for opportunities to use these, and the thoghts presented in my other series on connection.

Then, if you think of it, come and comment this post about your experiences, or just blog about it yourself and post the link in the comments here.

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." Margaret Mead