Identity

I have long felt like a stranger in my own skin. It's a difficult sensation to describe. Once, I attempted to explain this feeling to someone. I don't think they understood what I was talking about. But I will try to make it clear now.

It's like I am not really the person you see when you look at me. My physical body is nothing like my internal self. I'm a lot smaller, internally, than I am externally. My facial features are different, too. I can't describe them, though... I haven't seen them. I just know that this body I am in doesn't look like my real self.

I am finally beginning to feel some unity with this physical self, now that it is smaller and I am able to find clothes that both fit this physical body and suit my internal self. Before, I was rarely comfortable in my clothes, because while they fit the physical, they did not match the internal.

Yet I am still not one... this internal self is my true self, and the external is merely the physical trappings I have been dropped into. There is a distinct separation between the two, and I am uncertain how to go about achieving that full unity that I crave.

In this I know that I was truly created in God's image, for the internal self is the soul - the spirit - and the external is merely a shell, a home for it while on this earthly plane. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that when the New Heaven and the New Earth are brought into being - that time at the end of time, when all of creation will be remade - when this happens, I will become my true self; my soul will take its true form, and the beauty hiding within will shine forth as God intended all of His creation to shine.