Strange World

Strange World (Sarah McLachlan)

We walk without a sound across a barren landscape
Your eyes are twisted down to a dew entrailed ground
We watch the stars as they slowly fade away and in the clearing sky I see
The cold stone face of morning setting in on me
It's a strange world
It's a very strange world that leaves me
Holding on to nothing when there's nothing left to lose
Your touch is cold and damp, the devil's in your eyes
I wonder why I always let you lead me on this way
'Cause you see only what you want to see
You feel only what you want to
And I am on the outside of your strange world
It's a strange world
It's a very strange world that leaves me
Holding on to nothing when there's nothing left to lose
We're walking hand in hand, we'll walk this way forever
Our eyes have risen to the water's edge watching with the tides
The stars have fallen to another day and the sun warms our path to
Find the reasons leave us far behind in our strange world
It's a strange world
It's a very strange world that leaves me
Holding on to nothing when there's nothing left to lose

My day was very good. I got a lot done at work today. I stayed really late, but I wanted to get the project I was working on to a good stopping point, and I had nowhere else to be, really.

Taking my medication and tracking my time really helped today. I think tomorrow will also be a productive day, work-wise.

It's a strange world / It's a very strange world that leaves me / Holding on to nothing when there's nothing left to lose

I feel like I have nothing to lose at this point. Nothing to lose that cannot be regained. I am my self, not fully integrated as yet, but growing more and more into unity with every passing day. I have my faith, which has never failed me and will not fail me in the future. I feel... content, and whole. Free, I suppose, though I'm not really certain what freedom really feels like.

The other song that keeps calling out to me is by Traced Image, but it's on their new CD so I've only heard it at concerts so far - no lyrics to post. But part of it goes, And the words escaping me to tell you how I feel... a mystery.

That's how I feel right now. A mystery. The words are gone, floating somewhere, I don't know where. I want to put them down on the page, but I can't find them. I think they don't exist. Not the ones I would need to really describe, really explain what I'm feeling right now.

Maybe this is a new stage in the Becoming that I've been working through for so long. I know the Becoming will never really end, but I'm always excited to see new stages come into being in my life. Learning more about who I am, what I need, what I was created for, who I was created to be. It's not easy, I know it's not easy - it's never easy, change... but it's exciting, and I'm learning to embrace it.

I'm on the cusp of something, I feel that much very clearly. I wish I could know it before it happens, but that's not what this is about.

So... breathing. In. Out. And singing, in my soul, in my spirit, in my mind, with my voice. Holy, holy, holy Lord, God of power and might! Heaven & earth are full of your glory! Hosanna in the highest! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! Hosanna in the highest!

Painting pictures on the page, in words. Trying to convey that which is inside, beyond words, beyond all forms of expression. How to describe something which can only be experienced?

Where is this leading? I do not know.

But I know I am Becoming, and that is good. And I know that God is leading me, molding me, growing me carefully, and that is best.

Peace & Blessings, all.