Mystical Flux

My faith seems to be in flux.

When I say this, I do not mean that my faith is no longer Christian.

I mean that I am inherently dissatisfied with Christianity as it is typically practiced in the Anglican Church. I mean that I am unimpressed by the posturing of the evangelical movement (and, too, the post-evangelical movement).

I think (and I am sure nobody will be too surprised by this) that I am a mystic at heart. So this post will be mainly about mysticism and how it seems to be a part of my theology at this point in time.

Mysticism from the Greek μυστικός (mystikos) "an initiate" (of the Eleusinian Mysteries, μυστήρια (mysteria) meaning "initiation"^[1]) is the pursuit of achieving communion or identity with, or conscious awareness of, ultimate reality, the divine, spiritual truth, or God through direct experience, intuition, or insight; and the belief that such experience is an important source of knowledge, understanding, and wisdom. Traditions may include a belief in the literal existence of realities beyond empirical perception, or a belief that a true human perception of the world trancends logical reasoning or intellectual comprehension. A person delving in these areas may be called a Mystic.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mysticism

I don't think that mystics are any more "mature in their faith" than non-mystics. It's just one of those things where eventually you feel that your path is elsewhere. I haven't grown past the faith I grew up with... it's more like I'm growing into the faith & relationship God has planned for me.

The term mysticism connotes stepping beyond traditional interpretation and mystical traditions are often considered to be more inclusive and universalist, rejecting of particular doctrines associated with traditionalist, exclusivist, fundamentalist, or extremist beliefs. As such, mystical traditions have historically provided a platform by which cultural interchange of religious belief and concepts can occur, as well as to present for non-natives an otherwise culturally exclusive system in an explanatory manner.

(Same Source)

I do think that this is who and what I am.

More than hermiting, more than spiritual direction, I believe I am a mystic.

Christian mysticism is traditionally pursued through the practice of the disciplines of prayer (including meditation and contemplation), fasting (including other forms of abstinence and self-denial), and alms-giving, service to others, as discussed by Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7). Other forms of mysticism in general include participation in ecstatic worship and the use of entheogens, the latter not being associated with the mainstream of Christian spirituality. Christians believe that God dwells in Christians through the Holy Spirit, and therefore all Christians can experience God directly.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_mysticism

Mystics are not far removed from hermits, which is the concept I was pursuing last year at this time. Of these, I know I need to develop a discipline of regular prayer, and I ought to fast more often.

Vocation. It is a concept I have been pursuing for over a year now. I do not think I am any closer to discovering my true vocation now than I was last year. But it is an organic process, an organic thing, this faith and belief and relationship with God.

And so I am in flux, learning more of who I am in Christ, learning more of my self.

If I am truly God's Flourishing Graceful Warrior, then that must surely hold part of the key - as does the crowning name of Praise and Thanks.

It is time to look inward and upward, and meditate on all of these things.