God is good. So is music.

I had a perfectly awful day today. I woke up "on the wrong side of the bed" this morning. I just felt wrong, and I couldn't get out of the funk. Not that I really tried all that hard to cheer up.

After writing tomorrow's devotion, I took a hint from my own writing and pulled out some songs and my guitar. I played and sang for maybe half an hour, and it was good. And then I wrote a song. So I did "sing a new song" tonight. And I like it, for whatever the song is worth in and of itself.

Tonight's Soundtrack

• 40 (U2)
• The Prodigal (Michael Larson)
• Blessing (Janna Hoskin)
• Eagle's Wings (Reuben Morgan)
• Unto the King Eternal (Joey Holder)
• There Must Be More :: Consuming Fire (Tim Hughes)
• He Knows My Name (Tom Walker)

These lyrics, from the last song, made me cry: "He knows my name, / He knows my every thought / He sees each tear that falls / And hears me when I call."

*sigh*

But you know, there is healing in music. I chose the songs I did because they have spoken to me in the past, and I knew they would speak to me tonight. I had many others to sing, but I stopped after He Knows My Name because it was all I needed. And because I had a song that needed to be written.

When I Fall Down - Janna Hoskin; 08.06.2006

When I fall down again
Reach in and lift me up
I long to soar above this pain
Please come and fill my cup.

I cry out to you for healing
more times than I know I ought
but oh this hurt I'm feeling
from pretending something I'm not
Teach me to be my self.

When I reach out to you
Bless me with your song
I want to sing like angels do
Though waiting seems so long.

I cry out to you for healing
more times than I know I ought
but oh this hurt I'm feeling
from pretending something I'm not
Teach me to be my self.

I'm waiting here for your blessing
I'm waiting for your time
I'm waiting here for your power
I'm waiting for your sign

I cry out to you for healing
more times than I know I ought
but oh this hurt I'm feeling
from pretending something I'm not
Teach me to be my self.

Teach me to be my self.

I'm not all better yet. I don't know how long it'll take to get there. But I'm well on my way now, and it's because of God, and because of music, and I'm really incredibly glad I have this mode of expression open to me.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I'd better write Tom an e-mail...