This is a very short chapter in the book. Also very challenging. I do think they go together, though. We're talking about why one might end a marriage and we're talking about honesty. In both cases, I think the key is honesty. If you commit adultery, you're being dishonest with your spouse.
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"It was also said, 'Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.' But I say to you that anyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of unchastity, causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
"Again, you have heard it said to those of ancient times, 'You shall not swear falsely but carry out the vows you have made to the Lord.' But I say to you, Do not swear at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, or by the earth, for it is his footstool, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. Let your word be 'Yes, Yes' or 'No, No'; anything more than this comes from the evil one.
Matthew 5.31-37 (NRSV)
Notes from my HarperCollins Study Bible
- Unchastity = something objectionable (Deuteronomy 24. 1-4).
- Great King = God.
A Christian's righteousness: fidelity in marriage and honesty in speech.
Fidelity in marriage.
- Matthew 19.3-9 expands on this and should be considered together with this short passage.
- The debate at the time was over lawful cause for divorce: anything at all, or just a few specific things?
Marriage is a divine institution by which God makes permanently one two people. (p.94).
In Deuteronomy, there are an awful lot of if... then... statements. The only command is to not remarry your wife after you divorce her. It's a concession because people.
- Since marriage is permanent, remarriage is adultery.
- In the case of adultery, divorce is okay and the adulterer is considered deceased, so remarriage is permitted. (GE Ladd, footnote2 p. 96)
- Unchastity = physical sexual immorality (adultery, fornication, unnatural vice).
- Even allowing divorce in the case of unchastity is a concession.
- Christians will try everything to reconcile before divorcing, because how are you living by the Beatitudes otherwise?
Honesty in speech.
- Moses prohibited false swearing (breaking vows); the Pharisees focused on profanity, not dishonesty.
- The formula used to make a vow is irrelevant.
- A vow is binding no matter how it is phrased.
- Our word should be our bond.
- Hyperbole is silly.
'No' is a complete sentence; so is 'Yes'.
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The biggest bit for me here is that my husband was previously married. His ex-wife left him. I don't know all the implications for this, but here we are now and the goal is to continue as we ought. We made our vows, and we will stick to them as best we can.
I think that this chapter is about loving others. You cannot truly say that you love someone if you are cheating on them. You cannot truly say that you love someone if you are lying to them. There are decent, kind, respectful ways to speak truth, but sometimes it doesn't matter how careful we are, we're going to hurt someone else by being honest. Do it anyway.
Peace & Blessings.
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